Every single day, our society urges us to find happiness in external factors. Commercials tell us that happiness can be found in material goods like luxury cars and clothing. Society tells us that what we really need is the approval of others, or to follow a life script dictated by others’ expectations. We are told happiness comes from relationships, good looks, and just about everything else.
These messages might sound true, but they really aren’t. True happiness comes from within. You don’t need to live the “acceptable life,” earn a six-figure salary, or even have cool clothes to be happy. Joy can be cultivated by anyone as long as you put your mind to it. Here’s a guide that tells you how you can make it happen.
Accept Who You Are
By far, this is the most important and difficult step in becoming happy with yourself as a person. There are so many messages we receive about who we should be, and what we should do. Take this as a reminder: you don’t have an obligation to be what others want you to be.
Your life should be something that you enjoy. You need to live life for you, not others! So, be honest with yourself and what you like to do. Stop compromising your true identity just to put up a front.
Accepting who you area means that you will need to start living the way you want to live. Choose to wear the clothes you like, date the people you want to date, and do the things you want to do. The sooner you start, the more fun you’ll have.
Fix What Needs To Be Fixed
Though accepting yourself is important, there are certain things you really shouldn’t accept about yourself. It’s not okay to be less than what you could be. If you see an aspect of yourself that you know you should improve, you absolutely should do what you can to improve it.
Don’t quite get what I mean? Here are some examples of things you should fix if you want to live a happier life:
- Health Habits. Are you overweight? A smoker? These kinds of issues can seriously chip away at self-esteem and hurt your quality of life. Adopting healthier habits is a smart way to feel better in your skin and also have a better outlook on life.
- Motivation. A lot of people end up feeling terrible about themselves because they don’t have the motivation to accomplish anything. Motivation is a muscle you have to flex, so the best way to start is to just try something. It doesn’t have to be something major, but it does have to be a start.
- Career Problems. Are you stuck in a career that’s not fulfilling? Do you know ways to improve your career, but just haven’t gotten around to it yet? It’s time to fix that.
- Emotional Issues. We all have baggage, but that doesn’t mean you should accept it. If you find that your life is bogged down by toxic beliefs or emotional hangups, you need to address them. Getting therapy or learning new coping mechanisms can help immensely.
Deep down inside, you already probably know some of the things that you need to address. When you do start tackling your issues, you’ll struggle a bit, but you will love the results you feel.
Learn To Say “No”
Remember when I said it’s important to live for yourself? It’s absolutely true, and it’s also fairly difficult to do. People tend to pressure other people to do things they don’t want to do, act in ways that are inauthentic to themselves, or overburden themselves. Sometimes, it’s intentional, other times it’s not.
A lot of personal happiness gets sacrificed by being a people-pleaser. It’s natural to want to please others by saying yes, but truthfully, you need to learn to say no when you need to. If you’re having a hard time, start by saying things like “I’ll think about it,” or “I don’t think I can.”
Learn To Stop Seeking Approval
Yes, this is easier said than done, but the more you do it, the easier it is. No one, not even the best people who ever lived, could ever please everyone. Sometimes, it’s just better to deal with people hating on you than hurt yourself by seeking their approval.
Would you be offended if someone didn’t like the same food as you? Of course not. Everyone has their preferences. This includes their preferences with people. This isn’t a flaw on your end. Dita von Teese once said, “You can be the juiciest peach out there, but some people just don’t like peaches.”
You need to find people who work with your vibe. That’s all.
Make Yourself Proud
Out of all the things that you can do to improve your happiness, this is one of the best options on this list. Go out and accomplish something every day, no matter how small it is. Pat yourself on the back, and start taking on bigger projects.
You’ll find that actually accomplishing things will give you a sense of pride most other actions can’t give. It will give you confidence in yourself, and also help you realize that you’re worth it.
Take Care Of Yourself
Finding happiness from within also means that you should treat yourself well and celebrate yourself. Do things for yourself that you would want to do for a cherished friend, family member, or lover. Practicing good self-care will not only make you healthier, but it’ll also reinforce important messages that improve your self-esteem.
Having a good self-care routine will also help you develop the thick skin you need in order to manage all the stress and negativity that daily life can bring. It’s a wicked world out there. You owe it to yourself to keep yourself strong in every single way and enjoy life while we can do it. Treat yourself, and you’ll find yourself doing a lot better in every way imaginable.