Have you ever asked yourself, “are my friends toxic?” Friends can be there for three different time spans: a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Though it’s a little sad to think about, most friendships aren’t lifelong experiences. Rather, they are best during a certain period of your life where a little companionship can help you make life easier on yourself.
Part of living a healthy and accomplished life is knowing when it’s time to cut friendships short and when it’s time to partake in social scenes less frequently. This isn’t a time for grieving, but rather, a time to celebrate the fact that you’re growing and are now ready for a better group of friends.
Are you wondering if it’s time to cut your losses with people who were once your best buds? These signs suggest that you should start seeking out better friends who can be the support you need them to be.
10 Signs to check if your friends are toxic
- Your friends often pressure you to do things that aren’t in your best interest. You have a job that pays well. Your friends want you to ditch work to go to a concert, despite higher-ups warning you about attendance. You’re on a budget. Your friends want you to spend money on things you can’t afford. Sound familiar?This is the biggest and most pressing sign that you need to distance yourself from your friends. If your friends are urging you to wreck your life, they really aren’t friends at all.
- You can’t really recall the last time you learned something from your toxic friends. Friendship isn’t just about emotional support or having fun. It’s also about learning from one another and growing from the experiences that you have together. Friends should teach you something once in a while.Think back to the past six months. Did your friends teach you anything cool, or interesting? Did they inspire you to do better or be a better person? If not, you should consider switching up your scene.
- It always seems like you’re giving more than anyone else. Friendship should be an equal give and take. Being the “giver” on a regular basis tends to suggest that you might not be a friend as much as you are a martyr.It may feel like it’s the right thing to do, but truth be told, people don’t appreciate people who give them the world. If anything, it just makes them take you for granted.
- There’s a lot of negative talk going on whenever you try to better yourself. Good friends are the ones who will support you when you try to do great things.They will not only encourage you to do it, but they’ll also cheer you on when you finally get things done.Unfortunately, we live in a world where people who are upset tend to want to keep others down as a way to make themselves feel better.There are few things worse for you than hanging out with people who disparage you, refuse to support you, or worse, just tear each other down. With friends like those, who needs enemies?
- You’re getting the strong feeling that your “friends” don’t really want you around. This is a pretty painful thing to experience, but hey, it happens to just about everyone at one point or another. Sometimes, friends just outgrow each other or just stop meshing with one another.This isn’t a fault of yours in many situations. Rather, it’s just a sign that the toxic relationship has come to a close. It’s better to just let the friendship go than to let it slide. After all, would you really want to be around people who don’t appreciate you? Probably not.
- Your career could use a boost. Research shows that we tend to have the same income tend to hang out together. More specifically, we tend to make an average of the incomes of the five people we’re closest to.Take a look at your friends and their lifestyles. Do you feel like you’re getting good career advice from them? Are they where you want to be? If not, it may be time to take a look outside of your typical friendship circles.
- Their values and yours are no longer the same. A huge portion of a healthy friendship is sharing similar values and beliefs—or at least, being able to get along. Though you can definitely agree to disagree on certain points, there’s always a point where you can’t really ignore a person’s beliefs and values.If you notice that your friends are increasingly hostile towards things you cherish, or if you notice that they’re starting to lose the very values you enjoyed in them, it’s time to close the friendship.
- If you were honest with yourself, you never feel happy after hanging out with your friends anymore. A good friendship is one that uplifts you emotionally more often than it leaves you low. Do you often feel depressed or judged when you’re around people in your scene? That’s a good indicator that you deserve better friends.
- There seems to be an ulterior motive to your friendships. A lot of people stike up friendships in order to gain access to something they want—prestige, a job, a relationship, or something similar. People who do this aren’t interested in you as much as they are interested in using you.The sad truth of the matter is that friendships that are based on ulterior motives don’t ever really last forever. It’s better to avoid being used than it is to have your heart broken later on down the line.
- Your lifestyles are drifting apart. You’re working on climbing up the corporate ladder. Your friends are stuck working minimum wage jobs. You’re getting into fitness, your friends are getting into Couch Potato Mode.Eventually, these lifestyle differences will end up driving a wedge between the two of you. It’s a good idea to start looking for people who work with your newer, better life as soon as you can.
If you can resonate with any of these signs that shows you have toxic friends, think hard to see if you really need them in your life. Share your stores below with us!